the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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