i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
