South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
