Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
