I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
