erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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