I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
