Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
