return my video game
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I lost the right to judge tonight
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize