goodnight i made you a song goodbye
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
We are two peas in an std pod
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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