I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
