Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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