i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
