I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
