Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize