remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
