So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
