So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Randomize
