The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
