You made me cry and you don't even care
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
