the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
