you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
