Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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