Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
