Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
