At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
50% drunk capacity currently
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
