And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
