Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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