alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
