Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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