does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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