I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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