Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
