Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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