We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
