That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
