what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
