I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
