believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize