this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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