I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
