there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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