The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize