5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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