i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
