Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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