I cannot find my penis.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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