YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Randomize