You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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