he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
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