I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
