Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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