please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
