Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
