Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
