Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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