if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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