So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
