...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
