Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
