Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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