just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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