I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
