Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure

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(419): View more from Ohio

Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.

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(541): View more from Oregon

So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward

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(425): View more from Washington

we turned his baptism video into a drinking game

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(443): View more from Maryland

There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...

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(810): View more from Michigan

Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?

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(805): View more from California

Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.

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