ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Do you still have your period?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize