I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
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