so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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